The Church

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

The Church


If you're in London and up for a good time then you will probably find yourself in Church on more than a few Sundays. Located in Kentish Town, this Church isn't for the faint of heart. It is specifically for those of you out to worship booze, bare asses and titties.

Set up years ago, The Church has become a legend in London. Open from noon to 4pm every Sunday, it packs people in, feeds them booze by the bag full and spits them out into the streets of North London while the sun is still shining.

But what is it, exactly? Imagine a club packed with mostly Aussies, Kiwis, and South Africans on their worst behaviour and you have The Church. Most will probably still be going from the night before, and most will probably shuffle off to the Walkabout or Redback afterwards for more debauchery. Drinks at The Church are sold three at a time for £7 and are kept in plastic bags that you are meant to tie around your belt.

The entertainment consists of an old dude on a stage telling a few jokes, strippers, drinking game contestants, freaks, and drunk chicks intent on flashing their tits to the entire crowd.

Everyone in the place is blind drunk - you pretty much have to be for it to be bearable. Empty drink cans are tossed on the ground and by the end of the day you're surfing around on thousands of them, barely touching the sticky floor beneath. The entertainment consists of an old dude on a stage telling a few jokes, strippers, drinking game contestants, freaks, and drunk chicks intent on flashing their tits to the entire crowd. Just in case there's not enough chests being bared on stage, there's also a cameraman whose job is to zoom in on cleavage and freeze the shot on a giant screen for the boys to gawk at for a few seconds before moving on to the next pair.

The Church is about as feral a place as you will find in London but loads of fun if you are drunk enough. It's a bit of a mission to get to and the tube ride home is quite eventful. The last time I made my way home on the Northern Line there was a guy in a gorilla suit having a dance off with a guy in a tutu. Add in a few more guys doing back flips, a few renditions of Waltzing Matilda and a couple piles of spew and you know that Church has just been let out.

Be afraid. It will shock and appaul but be a realy good day out all at the same time!